It's a matter of trust because trust is a big deal to me.
Trust. I keep returning to this word and value it more and more with each passing day. I don’t dismiss the term “love,” and I understand why people get so hung up on it. To me, though, trust is a more important term. I hear people give away the word love cheaply when they say how much they love others and how much God loves them, etc. The big deal, however, is how God is worthy of our trust and expresses His character significantly by being trustworthy.
Trust is a big deal to me.
I grew up in an environment where the culture made trust a very difficult commodity to come by. I observed people who operated in a way that highlighted that they trusted each other to be untrustworthy. They counted on it. To such a degree that when it happened, it built on resentment they already carried because of previous disappointments. It didn’t stop them from interacting with each other and conducting activities. It reinforced the wedge between them that didn’t allow what I later discovered possible – loving, trusting, open, vulnerable and edifying relationships.
I observed this in my upbringing, and I became very wary of trusting people. I grew to be guarded by nature. I was very happy to listen to others and support them, but I was very unwilling to open myself to others and entrust to them what was going on inside. I knew what it was to be hurt by those who said they were friends but proved otherwise. I knew what it was to trust others with that which meant much to me, only to use it against me. Knowing that engendered the capacity to stay at arm’s length in relationships other than being close to hearing and understanding what the other person wanted to divulge.
Trust is a big deal to me.
I recognise that and confess and concede times when I’ve not been trustworthy. The impact it had on relationships when I proved unreliable was significant. That was on me. It also consumed me, and I messed it up when I wanted to be faithful, reliable, and trustworthy. I remember the guilt complexes that haunted me when I let someone down. There were times when being consumed with guilt over one act of being unreliable triggered being unfaithful in something else. That’s the problem when the focus is self-centred. A cycle of failure that condemns and leads to further misery. That cycle is broken with the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. That cycle is obliterated at the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ. When the focus returns to Him, and the acts of repentance take place, there’s a reminder that this walk with Him is done by His grace, power, mercy, and trustworthiness. He is faithful to forgive and cleanse. He does it and restores in me the ability to walk without the burden of guilt and shame and with the God-given capacity to be trustworthy.
Trust is a big deal to me.
The capacity to trust others is sourced in that right relationship with God, who, through His Son, makes it possible for me to rely on Him and trust Him as He sends me to put trust in others for His glory. It’s that which made it possible for me to be vulnerable to others and let them know of the mess as well as the success. This basis made it possible for me to see who God put in my life to help me learn to trust. This foundation enabled me to acknowledge that even when I let others down, they would not be bitter and resentful of me. They would reflect the character of God to be faithful and trustworthy. That example enabled me to refer to Jesus when I wanted to allow bitterness and resentment to build barriers to others. Jesus helped me knock those walls down and accept, forgive and restore wherever possible. Jesus helped me because He did to me and gave me the heart to extend that to others to reflect how wonderful and glorious He is.
Trust is a big deal to me.
As much as God has done that work in me, there is also the aspect in which God warns me about putting my trust in the things that fail. From time to time, I neglect the warnings, and sure enough, I suffer for the foolhardy act of putting trust in what is designed to fail me. I learned to pay attention and think again about where I put trust. It’s not just about individuals; it can be activities or institutions I put my trust in that God's points will not help me but hinder me. It matters to put my total trust in Him. That’s why where others put their trust in various systems, concepts, objects and personalities, God is there to warn me firmly that I must keep my trust in Him and Him alone.
This is because when He judges, God’s issue will always be where we put our trust. It’s the trust that reflects what matters to us. It’s why people can do all manner of activities that appear good on the surface, but because it’s not grounded in trusting God, it won’t matter to Him.
It’s a matter of trust.
For His Name's Sake
C. L. J. Dryden
Shalom
